Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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