i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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