As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
