Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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