Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Please don't give away my fajitas
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