Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
