I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
