He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
