I need help removing her.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
