uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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