I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
