I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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