he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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