Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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