I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't turn off my feet"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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