PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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