I love black thongs
You're completely useless in the revolution.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
