I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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