did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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