I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
