Tell her she can't have a vagina
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
