thus making me awesome and them whores
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize