There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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