Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
