do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
