I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
