Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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