Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
