I'm really into asian looking animals
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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