i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
