How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
