I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
