She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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