Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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