forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize