You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
