Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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