I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
