We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you never un-have a 4some
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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