Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
