Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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