dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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