I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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