Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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