Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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