Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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