I wish I could punch you in the face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
