She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
