fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize