Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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