she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
