So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You've changed since you got that strap on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
