i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
