why do cheetos always look like penises
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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