And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
