FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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