So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
