I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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