I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
