Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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