I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
