Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
