You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
