So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize