I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
