I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize