Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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