Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
