Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
